As a Black man, I can attest to that fact that at every one of corporate jobs I've had, I have ALWAYS been one of a very FEW Black folks on staff. Made for some interesting moments. Like the time at a company Xmas party, when one of the planners broke out a table chock FULL of watermelon with great fanfare and wheeled it over to my group…
As a Black man, I can attest to that fact that at every one of corporate jobs I've had, I have ALWAYS been one of a very FEW Black folks on staff. Made for some interesting moments. Like the time at a company Xmas party, when one of the planners broke out a table chock FULL of watermelon with great fanfare and wheeled it over to my group's table, as a special treat for me.
Should have seen their faces when I said, "But Jim, I don't like watermelon! (edit) - and in the ensuing silence, - I don't like chicken either!"
Just read through some of the replies to you, and I am surprised that people are surprised at the depth and pervasiveness of this underlying racism. This subject fits the category of WOKE. We (white liberal or independent) are not as awake as we think we are, and have a great deal of learning, self-questioning, and testing (e.g., develop some true friendships with people of other races) to explore. THIS is what Ron DeSantis and most Republicans want to squelch. They know that they will win (truly, honestly win) many fewer elections than they do now if people become more empathic and responsible regarding our American History.
They told me that too many people in the office park where we worked were complaining and that they needed a way for to identify myself as belonging there. So instead of dress trousers, sport coat and a tie, they tried to sell me on the virtues of wearing a uniform with my name on it in a fancy, red, cursive script. When I demurred, they made the uniform mandatory.
I wore it for a couple of weeks while I sought a new job. I would arrive at work in my normal attire, then waste 15 minutes changing to that dread uniform in a muted show of defiance. I would change out of it at lunch and back into it upon my return as a muted F-you. Then I would do the same thing at the end of the day. All on company time!
In 2-3 weeks I found another job somewhere else. That is a whole nother story.
I'd suggest EVERYONE read, "You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories About Racism," by Amber Ruffin and her sister, Lacey Lamar. If you're shocked by Adam's example, you should read it twice. (P.S., I'm sorry Adam. That is truly f'd up, as is the uniform thing. WTF?)
I just ordered it, thanks. Should be very educational to this white guy in England, who's not afraid of uncomfortable truths, unlike these snowflake Repugs.
It speaks incredibly well of you that you are able to have a sense of humour about something that 90% of us never even have to consider. Good on you, and I'd happily buy that book!
Thank you mister. I started off writing about a time when I was temporarily stationed at 29 Palms MCAGCC (Marine Corps Air/Ground Combat Center) and I had to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed.
The scene opens inside of a tent with a floor of sand. It's BLAZINGLY hot and I'm in the dentist chair when the dentist comes in.
He was a Navy Commander and his name tag said: Dr. Ream.
Hey, Adam, ex-Jarhead here! I was at 29 Palms in 1975, Aug thru Nov. Comm School - Honor Graduate. When and where were you? Aside, I once had to see a Dr. at Camp Lejeune who was named - TRUTH! - Dr. Hacker. Only in the Marines!!
I was out at the Stumps in 1984 or so playing Mux instructor in the desert. I nearly died there my first day but damn do I love the desert. Went to bootcamp at the dreaded Parris Island and did Radio School at Lejuene (Camp Bluebird).
I didn't know they moved radio school AGAIN! I first began radio school at MCRD San Diego, and about 2 weeks in, they announced the move to "Stumps" ( I had forgotten that lovely nickname!). Actually had a great time there. Got to know Joshua Tree National Park very well, and met a few celebs in Palm Springs. Fought the Black Widows, and dodged a couple rattlers, as well. Good Times!
What about the centipedes? Armored BEASTS they were! Faster than you could see, almost. Huge they were too! 18" to 24" easily. And not 1, not 2, but THREE kinds of scorpions.
But I loved the desert. 100+ during the day, 20 degrees, sometimes less at night. GD beautiful country even though it's mainly comprised of scrubland and sand, but the rock formations, declinations, arroyos and the sheer expanse of it all spelled beauty for me. Not to mention the various species of plantlife (not that many), cacti, birds, mammals (like those bloody coyotes), snakes. raptors and such.
Nothing like moonlight illuminating ripples and rills of sand, while you smoke andf drink with your buddies and watch while the tank crews blow the absolute SHIT out of large chunks of desert in the Delta corridor. Tracers like lasers in the night! Then LIGHT!!! and BOOMBOOM!!!
Hahaha! I actually like both chicken and watermelon but in that moment, I was highly offended and immediately saw a way to turn the tables and give them a big FCK-U in a humorous fashion.
It was hilarious (to me anyway). Could have heard a pin drop.
Good! Watermelon is one of the healthiest foods to consume during a heatwave...more on the way so we should all take advantage of Mother Nature's nutritious pharmacopeia. Also citrus as in lemonade and limeade help avoid heatstroke.
Good for you. I think in the real world you and I would upturn the status quo. People who think stuff like that is funny at all need a swift kick in a region it would get their attention.
Right now watermelon is at its peak in the south and I eat some every night.
I eat loads of chicken because I have a tick-borne illness that prevents me from eating mammal meats. Thank goodness for chicken and turkey.
I wish I could say that it is unbelievable people are still so ignorant and more but it isn’t. I am sorry you have had to deal with such behavior and attitudes since you were little.
But that is part of our shared history. Ish like this happened. I'm not bitter about it. But, I am awake and aware of the monster under the bed, if you will.
We all must be aware of the monster under the bed, if you will. For work, I facilitate and it is rewarding and also enlightening in good and frustrating ways, to try to illuminate shared history and move us towards a more respectful, dignified, future.
In that moment, I could see the shock on their faces, the inherent humor of the circumstances and of my spontaneous utterance. I wanted to laugh actually.
If that scene were in a movie, it would have been classic!
I think Black people get this treatment at a whole other level and I sometimes think that every Black person in America is a hero of sorts, just for living here.
I'm a minority as well and have received my (surely lesser) share of this kind of tiresome stereotyping (e.g. -- oh, you have *homes* in your country?). After a few years of being irritated, I figured that it's easier to think of it as dumb and funny. Because insulting though it may be, it generally emanates from a good-natured and self-satisfied ignorance, at least on the day-to-day level.
Good grief! I'm surprised you could hold on to your temper and not punch him a good one in the face. Incidents like this gives all Caucasians a bad name and can't be tolerated. There's a poem in Spanish that's one of my favorites. Although it's in Spanish, the explanation below it is in English. It's written in the Puertorrican Spanish most of us use daily in casual conversations, and pretty much like the country people, regardless of color or ethnicity usually speak. Perhaps you can find a translator. Or learn Spanish?
*Ayé me dijite negro
Y hoy te boy a contejtá:
Mi mai se sienta en la sala.
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Yo tengo el pelo'e caíyo:
El tuyo ej seda namá;
Tu pai lo tiene bien lasio,
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Tu coló te salió blanco
Y la mejiya rosá;
Loj lábioj loj tiénej finoj . . .
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
¿Disej que mi bemba ej grande
Y mi pasa colorá?
Pero dijme, por la vijne,
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Como tu nena ej blanquita
La sacaj mucho a pasiá . . .
Y yo con ganae gritate
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
A ti te gujta el fojtrote,
Y a mi brujca maniguá.
Tú te laj tiraj de blanco
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Erej blanquito enchapao
Que dentraj en sosiedá,
Temiendo que se conojca
La mamá de tu mamá.
Aquí el que no tiene dinga
Tiene mandinga . . ¡ja, ja!
Por eso yo te pregunto
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Ayé me dijite negro
Queriéndome abochoná.
Mi agüela sale a la sala,
Y la tuya oculta ajtá.
La pobre se ejtá muriendo
Al belse tan maltratá.
Que hajta tu perro le ladra
Si acaso a la sala bá.
¡Y bien que yo la conojco!
Se ñama Siña Tatá . . .
Tu la ejconde en la cosina,
Po'que ej prieta de a beldá.
***Meaning
The poem tells the story of a black Puerto Rican who "answers" a white-skinned Puerto Rican after the latter calls the Afro-Puerto Rican "black" and "big lipped." In his answer, the black man describes both his own African attributes while also describing the Caucasian attributes of the white Puerto Rican as well as that person's light-skinned daughter. All the while the black man keeps asking in nearly every stanza, "... and where is your grandmother?"[6][7]
The meaning of the question is made clear as the poem develops; the black man notes that his own grandmother "sits in the living room, but yours is kept hidden." The reason for that is revealed in the last stanza, when the black man tells the world that the "white" Puerto Rican keeps the grandmother hidden in the kitchen because she is so dark-skinned; we also learn that her name is Siña Tatá.[6][7]. The poem is widely interpreted[8][9][10][11] as an elegant way to identify the racism faced by Puerto Ricans of clear African ancestry from their own people of Caucasian features, but who may have an African ancestor themselves.[12]
I would think people should remember Fuzzy Zoeller making a crack like that when Tiger Woods won his first Masters in 1997. It was not well received even then. The watermelon part I never understood or bothered to look up and assumed was just racist.
For anyone who has lived in the South, you know the best fried chicken is cooked in a cast iron skillet according to the recipe of a very proud Black woman, handed down through generations. Fried chicken is an art form. The best practitioners are found in the Southern kitchen and soul food restaurants not owned by Paula Deen. Paired with an equally killer recipe for slow-cooked collared greens and homemade mac & cheese (or dirty rice in some places), this is culinary heaven. The kind of food one places their face into rather than brings to their face.
Colonel Sanders stole that and took it nationwide and corporate.
Hmmm... Not sure if this is justification for Black ownership of fried chicken, or my own personal ode to the beauty of fried chicken. Either way, my association is positive. Without doing research (which I will do now), I always figured the American rendition of fried chicken is indeed a Black invention.
We lived in the south (just north of Chattanooga), however briefly. I couldn't find anyone that knew where to get good fried chicken! I asked everywhere and everyone. Finally 1 guy said, ya mean other than KFC? Oh my God, yeah, other than KFC 🤦♀️ I made my own, it was delicious! Never have liked watermelon though...LOL
Thank you but don't be. This is my reality and has been since the first time as a child, I asked what color Jesus was (they said he had no color but the picturen on the wall showed...) or why we could sit down and eat at Gately's but not Woolworth.
This is the reality that many deny or they accuse me of being a victim and wanting to "cash in" or some ish.
I'm not. All I'm doing is stating what happened. Period.
Sure sweetie. You are sure a gifted reader of personalities… LOL You must live alone with cats while your baby momma cares for the kids. The funny thing about you is that you rarely contribute any comments that demonstrate critical thinking skills. I guess that degree you earned was in victim studies.
As a Black man, I can attest to that fact that at every one of corporate jobs I've had, I have ALWAYS been one of a very FEW Black folks on staff. Made for some interesting moments. Like the time at a company Xmas party, when one of the planners broke out a table chock FULL of watermelon with great fanfare and wheeled it over to my group's table, as a special treat for me.
Should have seen their faces when I said, "But Jim, I don't like watermelon! (edit) - and in the ensuing silence, - I don't like chicken either!"
Just read through some of the replies to you, and I am surprised that people are surprised at the depth and pervasiveness of this underlying racism. This subject fits the category of WOKE. We (white liberal or independent) are not as awake as we think we are, and have a great deal of learning, self-questioning, and testing (e.g., develop some true friendships with people of other races) to explore. THIS is what Ron DeSantis and most Republicans want to squelch. They know that they will win (truly, honestly win) many fewer elections than they do now if people become more empathic and responsible regarding our American History.
You are "reading the room" as they say. Precisely my underlying purpose in sharing this incident (one of many) from my life.
Thank you so very much for sharing your insightful comment/opinion.
OMGGGG - I cannot believe they actually did that! 😳 I'm so sorry
The ones who ought to feel sorry, don't/can't!
I am speechless. That is HORRIBLE Adam! So sorry that happened to you.
Try to see the humor in it too.
Well that’s just horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. I have a feeling the micro aggressions were endless,too. 😖
They told me that too many people in the office park where we worked were complaining and that they needed a way for to identify myself as belonging there. So instead of dress trousers, sport coat and a tie, they tried to sell me on the virtues of wearing a uniform with my name on it in a fancy, red, cursive script. When I demurred, they made the uniform mandatory.
I wore it for a couple of weeks while I sought a new job. I would arrive at work in my normal attire, then waste 15 minutes changing to that dread uniform in a muted show of defiance. I would change out of it at lunch and back into it upon my return as a muted F-you. Then I would do the same thing at the end of the day. All on company time!
In 2-3 weeks I found another job somewhere else. That is a whole nother story.
I am so sorry that happened to you. People are horrible.
Is ok. Gives me many many MANY amusing and sometimes a bit scary stories to tell. And they are all true.
Compile and publish your stories. Often that is the only way to reach the uninformed and/or those who claim to be unaware of such biased behaviors.
Not to mention, it would probably become a best-seller (except in Florida, of course!), and then a hit Hollywood movie!! Go For It!!!
Seriously, the coat and tie weren't enough?! I wonder how much company time they wasted coming up with that scheme.
Seriously! Then I had some dude saying that I should just pretend I'm back in the Marine Corps and I laughed. "YOU were NEVER in MY Marine Corps!!"
So, they stopped that line of argument and went for the clincher. "Wear it or you're fired!"
Well, that is thoroughly horrifying and insulting. I am sorry that you were subjected that kind of despicable behaviour.
I'm gonna write a book. Many of the things that I've been though while awful at the time, are hilarious in the re-telling.
I'd suggest EVERYONE read, "You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories About Racism," by Amber Ruffin and her sister, Lacey Lamar. If you're shocked by Adam's example, you should read it twice. (P.S., I'm sorry Adam. That is truly f'd up, as is the uniform thing. WTF?)
I love Amber and will look for her book as I love reading too. Even more than chikin!!! Lol.
I just ordered it, thanks. Should be very educational to this white guy in England, who's not afraid of uncomfortable truths, unlike these snowflake Repugs.
Damn straight James.
We're all just fucking people but a significant portion of the population has difficulty with the concept.
It speaks incredibly well of you that you are able to have a sense of humour about something that 90% of us never even have to consider. Good on you, and I'd happily buy that book!
Haiku's & Fuck You's: The Story of My Life
LOL; that would be an awesome title!
Thank you mister. I started off writing about a time when I was temporarily stationed at 29 Palms MCAGCC (Marine Corps Air/Ground Combat Center) and I had to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed.
The scene opens inside of a tent with a floor of sand. It's BLAZINGLY hot and I'm in the dentist chair when the dentist comes in.
He was a Navy Commander and his name tag said: Dr. Ream.
Hey, Adam, ex-Jarhead here! I was at 29 Palms in 1975, Aug thru Nov. Comm School - Honor Graduate. When and where were you? Aside, I once had to see a Dr. at Camp Lejeune who was named - TRUTH! - Dr. Hacker. Only in the Marines!!
I was out at the Stumps in 1984 or so playing Mux instructor in the desert. I nearly died there my first day but damn do I love the desert. Went to bootcamp at the dreaded Parris Island and did Radio School at Lejuene (Camp Bluebird).
I didn't know they moved radio school AGAIN! I first began radio school at MCRD San Diego, and about 2 weeks in, they announced the move to "Stumps" ( I had forgotten that lovely nickname!). Actually had a great time there. Got to know Joshua Tree National Park very well, and met a few celebs in Palm Springs. Fought the Black Widows, and dodged a couple rattlers, as well. Good Times!
What about the centipedes? Armored BEASTS they were! Faster than you could see, almost. Huge they were too! 18" to 24" easily. And not 1, not 2, but THREE kinds of scorpions.
But I loved the desert. 100+ during the day, 20 degrees, sometimes less at night. GD beautiful country even though it's mainly comprised of scrubland and sand, but the rock formations, declinations, arroyos and the sheer expanse of it all spelled beauty for me. Not to mention the various species of plantlife (not that many), cacti, birds, mammals (like those bloody coyotes), snakes. raptors and such.
Nothing like moonlight illuminating ripples and rills of sand, while you smoke andf drink with your buddies and watch while the tank crews blow the absolute SHIT out of large chunks of desert in the Delta corridor. Tracers like lasers in the night! Then LIGHT!!! and BOOMBOOM!!!
Idiots.
I wish I was at your table that night. I love watermelon. I am white and I challenge no one on the planet likes watermelon better than me!
Hahaha! I actually like both chicken and watermelon but in that moment, I was highly offended and immediately saw a way to turn the tables and give them a big FCK-U in a humorous fashion.
It was hilarious (to me anyway). Could have heard a pin drop.
Good! Watermelon is one of the healthiest foods to consume during a heatwave...more on the way so we should all take advantage of Mother Nature's nutritious pharmacopeia. Also citrus as in lemonade and limeade help avoid heatstroke.
Totally agree. Never met lemonade I didn't like, either!
Good for you. I think in the real world you and I would upturn the status quo. People who think stuff like that is funny at all need a swift kick in a region it would get their attention.
Right now watermelon is at its peak in the south and I eat some every night.
I eat loads of chicken because I have a tick-borne illness that prevents me from eating mammal meats. Thank goodness for chicken and turkey.
I wish I could say that it is unbelievable people are still so ignorant and more but it isn’t. I am sorry you have had to deal with such behavior and attitudes since you were little.
But that is part of our shared history. Ish like this happened. I'm not bitter about it. But, I am awake and aware of the monster under the bed, if you will.
We all must be aware of the monster under the bed, if you will. For work, I facilitate and it is rewarding and also enlightening in good and frustrating ways, to try to illuminate shared history and move us towards a more respectful, dignified, future.
I'm sorry that happened to you Adam. That's really messed up. True whytness in action.
In that moment, I could see the shock on their faces, the inherent humor of the circumstances and of my spontaneous utterance. I wanted to laugh actually.
If that scene were in a movie, it would have been classic!
I think Black people get this treatment at a whole other level and I sometimes think that every Black person in America is a hero of sorts, just for living here.
I'm a minority as well and have received my (surely lesser) share of this kind of tiresome stereotyping (e.g. -- oh, you have *homes* in your country?). After a few years of being irritated, I figured that it's easier to think of it as dumb and funny. Because insulting though it may be, it generally emanates from a good-natured and self-satisfied ignorance, at least on the day-to-day level.
I'm a former Marine and will not hesitate to kick a MF's behind if they have it coming and clearly are asking for it.
But, I'd rather play the peaceful warrior and keep cool.
Good grief! I'm surprised you could hold on to your temper and not punch him a good one in the face. Incidents like this gives all Caucasians a bad name and can't be tolerated. There's a poem in Spanish that's one of my favorites. Although it's in Spanish, the explanation below it is in English. It's written in the Puertorrican Spanish most of us use daily in casual conversations, and pretty much like the country people, regardless of color or ethnicity usually speak. Perhaps you can find a translator. Or learn Spanish?
*Ayé me dijite negro
Y hoy te boy a contejtá:
Mi mai se sienta en la sala.
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Yo tengo el pelo'e caíyo:
El tuyo ej seda namá;
Tu pai lo tiene bien lasio,
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Tu coló te salió blanco
Y la mejiya rosá;
Loj lábioj loj tiénej finoj . . .
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
¿Disej que mi bemba ej grande
Y mi pasa colorá?
Pero dijme, por la vijne,
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Como tu nena ej blanquita
La sacaj mucho a pasiá . . .
Y yo con ganae gritate
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
A ti te gujta el fojtrote,
Y a mi brujca maniguá.
Tú te laj tiraj de blanco
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Erej blanquito enchapao
Que dentraj en sosiedá,
Temiendo que se conojca
La mamá de tu mamá.
Aquí el que no tiene dinga
Tiene mandinga . . ¡ja, ja!
Por eso yo te pregunto
¿Y tu agüela, aonde ejtá?
Ayé me dijite negro
Queriéndome abochoná.
Mi agüela sale a la sala,
Y la tuya oculta ajtá.
La pobre se ejtá muriendo
Al belse tan maltratá.
Que hajta tu perro le ladra
Si acaso a la sala bá.
¡Y bien que yo la conojco!
Se ñama Siña Tatá . . .
Tu la ejconde en la cosina,
Po'que ej prieta de a beldá.
***Meaning
The poem tells the story of a black Puerto Rican who "answers" a white-skinned Puerto Rican after the latter calls the Afro-Puerto Rican "black" and "big lipped." In his answer, the black man describes both his own African attributes while also describing the Caucasian attributes of the white Puerto Rican as well as that person's light-skinned daughter. All the while the black man keeps asking in nearly every stanza, "... and where is your grandmother?"[6][7]
The meaning of the question is made clear as the poem develops; the black man notes that his own grandmother "sits in the living room, but yours is kept hidden." The reason for that is revealed in the last stanza, when the black man tells the world that the "white" Puerto Rican keeps the grandmother hidden in the kitchen because she is so dark-skinned; we also learn that her name is Siña Tatá.[6][7]. The poem is widely interpreted[8][9][10][11] as an elegant way to identify the racism faced by Puerto Ricans of clear African ancestry from their own people of Caucasian features, but who may have an African ancestor themselves.[12]
Fascinating. Thank you for sharing that Digna.
I translated it & posted in English since it's been my favorite since first reading it. It's still very popular in PR.
I would think people should remember Fuzzy Zoeller making a crack like that when Tiger Woods won his first Masters in 1997. It was not well received even then. The watermelon part I never understood or bothered to look up and assumed was just racist.
For anyone who has lived in the South, you know the best fried chicken is cooked in a cast iron skillet according to the recipe of a very proud Black woman, handed down through generations. Fried chicken is an art form. The best practitioners are found in the Southern kitchen and soul food restaurants not owned by Paula Deen. Paired with an equally killer recipe for slow-cooked collared greens and homemade mac & cheese (or dirty rice in some places), this is culinary heaven. The kind of food one places their face into rather than brings to their face.
Colonel Sanders stole that and took it nationwide and corporate.
Hmmm... Not sure if this is justification for Black ownership of fried chicken, or my own personal ode to the beauty of fried chicken. Either way, my association is positive. Without doing research (which I will do now), I always figured the American rendition of fried chicken is indeed a Black invention.
Hahaha! Your comment gave me a good chuckle. Thanks Donald.
We lived in the south (just north of Chattanooga), however briefly. I couldn't find anyone that knew where to get good fried chicken! I asked everywhere and everyone. Finally 1 guy said, ya mean other than KFC? Oh my God, yeah, other than KFC 🤦♀️ I made my own, it was delicious! Never have liked watermelon though...LOL
I hope you put that person in his place. How insulting is that. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
My reply at the time was utterly hilarious and shut the whole room up!
Wow. I’m so sorry
Thank you but don't be. This is my reality and has been since the first time as a child, I asked what color Jesus was (they said he had no color but the picturen on the wall showed...) or why we could sit down and eat at Gately's but not Woolworth.
This is the reality that many deny or they accuse me of being a victim and wanting to "cash in" or some ish.
I'm not. All I'm doing is stating what happened. Period.
Doubt it.
Doubt away crunchy FL cracker. You exist to amuse.
Racist
Hahahahahahahahaha! I'm no racist Frankie.
I'm merely prejudiced against you! Like any right-minded person would be.
We're done now Frank. Good day.
No. You are a racist. The “cracker” comment proves it.
All it "proves" is that I don't like you. You are a brittle, bitter man who talks tough yet is fragile as a saltine hammer.
Sure sweetie. You are sure a gifted reader of personalities… LOL You must live alone with cats while your baby momma cares for the kids. The funny thing about you is that you rarely contribute any comments that demonstrate critical thinking skills. I guess that degree you earned was in victim studies.
Give it a rest wimp. That's all the time you get today. More than you deserve or warrant.